The Road Forward

My hiatus from work has been nothing but amazing. I feel so grateful for the opportunity to take a break, rest, and heal.

One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. True majesty.

Each passing day brings insights and a mental tranquility that I’ve not experienced before—ever! This is the most ME I’ve ever felt as an adult. I do what I want each day, listen to my body, and see where the day will take me. It’s a gift and, again, I feel lucky to be doing this. But at the same time, it feels right. So, I’m not just relishing it, I’m confident in what I’m doing. I feel no guilt or shame. Only peace.

In my time away from the chaos of the entertainment industry, I’ve been enjoying down-to-earth activities. I’ve been immersing myself in the Arts, such as music, film, books, dance, and more. There are few things more nourishing to my well-being than the Arts. They’re like magic to my brain! I soak it up and feel the spectrum of emotions. Oh the joy! I also let my daily interests take me where they will. For instance, I’ve been cooking a lot. So fun to create on my feet and feel the satisfaction that comes from feeding family and friends. And solo hikes in the middle of a weekday. And eating well. And spending time with friends. And resting. And stretching! And more!

Through it all, I process and think. I’m not ignoring the hardships, just giving myself the time and patience. It’s a strange time and I feel alive.

So, I’m journeying forward, open to new opportunities. I don’t know where the winds will take me. I just want to feel the wholesome satisfaction that comes from helping others, contributing my creativity to something meaningful, and helping make the world a little better.

That’s all I ever wanted or ever will.

Bai

First Steps

I don’t feel like writing. All I want to do is rest and recover. Still, I want to say something during this moment of my life…

The summer of 2019 was dark. With each passing day, I watched my energy and enthusiasm drain from my body. The culprit was work. After a series of unfortunate events, poor managerial leadership, and bureaucracy—I found myself at the end of my proverbial rope. I gave the company everything I had, and in return they took it all away in the blink of an eye. Thank goodness I made a lot of friends, otherwise I would’ve had nothing.

I want to be honest about how losing a sense of purpose can lead to depression and burnout. Executive bureaucrats ravaged my close-knit community and scattered us to the winds. Over the summer I watched helplessly as incompetent leaders at every level made poor decisions—including my new boss (who lacked empathy and experience, ugh). And each week the company bled more of its best talent. It’s no surprise that company morale sank lower and lower with each foible and misstep. My friends were depressed. I was depressed. I wanted to help all the people in need around me, but it was all I could do to feel anything but apathy. Nihilism never felt more appropriate.

So, I listened to my heart, and it told me I was dying inside. I listened and decided to quit.

My last week at work was tough. I said goodbye to dozens upon dozens of close friends, and gave them what strength and positive inspiration I had left. But on my last day, as I made my quiet exit, I knew I was weary. When I got home, I lay on the couch and couldn’t move. I was physically done, my body spent. And for the next week, I lay in bed feeling sick. My immune system couldn’t fight it off, so I coughed and sneezed and wheezed.

But at least I was free.

Besides feeling sick, I’ve felt some relief. Energy and life purpose has begun to trickle slowly into my veins once more…but it’s going to be an evolving process. I don’t know what will happen, but I know that listening to my heart and my body will be essential to my recovery. I took a trip too, which helped a lot. I experienced great beauty and adventure in the Pacific Northwest:

I love nature! It’s a balm to any wound.

My road is just beginning, one that I hope to walk with old and new friends alike. For now, I’m telling myself to stay open and let life flow. It’ll all work out in the end.

-Bai

Forged by the Darkness

Life is an endless wheel of darkness and light. It’s always turning.

When the wheel of life turns to darkness and despair, I feel it in my bones. Sometimes I can’t even imagine how I’m going to get through it. Have you ever felt so sad that you couldn’t stay standing? You just had to sit down or collapse to the floor in anguish?

I have.

But the more I’ve pondered the pendulum swings of life, the more I’ve come to appreciate both sides of it. Yes, even the darkness that feels so deep. There are some who have felt loss like I can’t imagine. And I hope I never have to feel the devastation that so many of our brothers and sisters feel every day. I am grateful my life remains pretty whole.

Still, sadness is no stranger to me. It’s hard to feel, but there’s something healing about it. And so, in a way, I am grateful for it. I am especially grateful for the growth it gives way to. Before we can see a great distance across the land, we must first climb a perilous trek through the mountains.

That said, the road is never what we imagine. This is because the frightful mountain climb changes us. We see the land through new eyes. We will never be as we were before. In that way, we burn our old selves and rise again from the ashes. It’s the endless cycle. The hero’s journey. It’s the story we’ve heard and experienced a thousand times over. It’s nothing new.

But I am saying the journey through the darkness is required if you want to be born again. We cannot change if we do not struggle and feel our way through. And it’s not enough to know that we can rise again on the other side. No. We have to believe in our hearts that we are done for and that all is lost. We have to feel the fear thunder through us.

Only then can we lift ourselves over the ridge. Having triumphed over our inner demon, we rise with the gift we earned that will guide us forward. We must be changed by the deep to become whole.

Easier said than done. But such is life.

Adventure is Out There

Friends,

I'm writing to tell you about what's going on with me. As many of you already know, Forma Pictures is going quiet. It still exists, but I will no longer be accepting work inquiries or pursuing side projects at this time.

Why?

Well, I accepted a different job. One that will take all of my focus and fortitude. I've accepted a job at Blizzard Entertainment. It's long been my dream to join their team and to learn and collaborate with the fine people there. I'm very happy.

So, there it is. I work at Blizzard. Anything I say or do going forward from here will in no way reflect Blizzard. These opinions on this blog are mine and mine alone. But it'll be quiet here for a time.

Best to you all,

Bailey

End

What do you do when you face the end? When everything you've fought for lies on the edge of a knife, and if you stray but a little, it will all come crumbling down.

I've fought hard in my life to make something great. I have fought for years and years in my quest to defy the status quo and seek to make something better. As the Overwatch trailer put it, "Never accept the world as it appears to be. Dare to see it for what it could be."

This rings true for me. Totally.

The way that people make money and the way that people organize themselves into social structures in the workplace can and should be so, so much better. And whenever I try to accept it for the way that it is today, it kills a little piece inside of me.

The world can and should be better. I'm going to make a company that rises above mediocrity and makes the world a better place. Even if it's the last god damn thing I do.

B

100

Yup. This is the 100th entry for this blog. I started it 2 years ago to shed light on my travels as an artist and business person. It's been a way for me to share and process what I've been making and thinking. A lot has happened these past 100 weeks!

Over the last couple months, however, I've had fewer ideas of what to talk about each week. My guess is because I'm also making weekly video tutorials and essays. So, now I'm only going to post on this blog when bigger things happen or when I have something I want to share. The blog has been great for me, regardless of how many people have read it, but I feel like it's had its moment. I want to focus on other things now.

So, in one final, self-indulgent post, I'm going to list some of the things I've talked about over these past two years. Thanks for reading, friends!

Your pal, Bailey

An Interview with Byron Bullock

New and exciting interview up for your viewing pleasure! That's all I've got for now. :)

-Bailey

Pokemon GO

Unless you've been living in a submarine this past month, chances are that you've heard of Pokemon GO. In an effort to summarize my feelings about this culture changing game, I interviewed Lars Brubaker, futurist, CEO, inventor, and game developer. Have a listen to us talk about why Pokemon GO is changing our social landscape in a big way:

Bailey

An Interview with Jeff Chamberlain

This week I was pleased to release a very cool interview with Jeff Chamberlain, one of the cinematic directors over at Blizzard. He directed the Wrath of the Lich King intro, the Overwatch trailer, and played a role on lots of others for the last couple decades. It was a treat to speak with him and learn more about his past, his philosophies, and his process. Check it out:

Lately, with all of the BtC interviews and other interviews I've been doing (which will release later), I've been getting much better at this whole process. I have a lot to learn still, but my abilities are improving. More to come. Lots more. :)

Bailey

20/20

20-mile marching. I've written and talked about this a lot, but I think it's important. Like super important.

The beautiful thing about 20-mile marching is that it just works. It works like a goddamn precise clock that never dies. It's incredible. I've long been a fan of the concept, but I really live and breathe it now. The best part is that I'm not overworking myself anymore and yet I'm still accomplishing a lot.

Behind the Cinematic was built on the premise of 20-mile marching. I consistently add to it and improve it, but I don't kill myself for it. And it just keeps growing, getting better, and pushes me to be my best. There's really no downside to 20-mile marching. There may be a slight short term loss, but you surpass other people in the long run. And it doesn't even take that long to do more than people who work all the time. Because when you're well-rested and have all your wits about you, you can very easily do better than the people who are running on fumes.

And, of course, I made a video about it. So, even if you don't read Great by Choice, you should watch this video. And when you're done, read about Amundsen and Scott. And then read this for more information. Haha, do whatever you want. :)

Bailey

March, March

Sometimes it's hard to write something every week. This week it's tricky because the work I did wasn't very visible. Lots of prep-work and WIP stuff that I'm not terribly eager to show. But that's the way of it.

Art is one of those professions where every product takes a considerable number of hours to create. All professions require tens of thousands of hours to get good at, but some professions (like acting) can appear to be instantly created. A performance happens in the moment. Actors still have to do all the prep work ahead of time, but it looks like they just did it magically. Not so with art. Every single piece of art takes hours and hours and hours of time to create.

But I did do a few things you can look at if you want. I posted a couple more articles up on the site and wrote another essay for people to watch. The rest of the work isn't ready for viewing yet, but have a gander at these things:

I did not work on this, it's for Behind the Cinematic.

I did not work on this, it's for Behind the Cinematic.

-Bailey

An Interview with Paul Furminger

Hey everybody! This week I was a bit swamped, but I did manage to release a few things for your eyeballs. Namely, I launched an interview with Paul Furminger over at Behind the Cinematic. In my opinion, it's a good one. Lots of great information from the guy and tons of behind-the-scenes images. Read it here:

The fine folks at Goldtooth were a pleasure to work with. So, not only do they kick ass at making trailers, they're also awesome to speak and coordinate with. If you don't know who they are, go find out! They're rad:

That's all for today. Cheers!

Bailey

Mediocrity is My Bane

I talk about quality a lot, so I made a video with a few of my thoughts on mediocrity and striving for excellence. It actually saddens me that more people don't pursue excellence with every fiber in their being. Luckily, however, there are some people out there making some beautiful stuff. I like those people. My world revolves around those people.

-Bailey